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Yay, another story of how my job may not be ideal, but it easily could be worse. I think about the job I was at a year ago and remember how lucky I am not to be stuck there anymore. Without getting too specific, I was an “Executive Assistant” to a very important guy in entertainment finance. Forget you even heard the word entertainment. It was all finance. No creativity in my job at all. Just numbers. Invoices and spreadsheets and ugh it irritates me just thinking about it.

As if the nature of the job weren’t enough to make me want to stab myself in the eye with a fork, the people around me were. In my entire department there were 7 people, including myself. 6 before we got ‘the new guy’. There was my boss, who we’ll call Hyena, for his insane laugh that eventually would stir up a rage in me like no rage I’d ever felt before; the other VIP who we’ll call Lady, because she was always at least civil if not on occasion nice to me; a sort of freelancer who was only around on occasion - she was the nicest, we’ll call her Smiley; the two analysts who worked closely with the Hyena, we’ll call them the Siamese twins; and of course ‘the new guy’. That’s the whole department. Everyone there had worked together for a long time when I got there (except of course the new guy, who got there about 6 months after me). So when I first got there, I definitely felt like the freshman, the new kid in town. Problem was, a year later I still felt the same way. The Hyena would come out of his office and joke around with the Siamese twins, throw things at them and laugh maniacally. They were all having such a good time. Then he’d turn to my cubicle, which was a mere 7 feet away from the Siamese cubicles and ask me to make copies. No smile, no jokey-jokes. Sometimes, he’d come out from his office, tell the twins that he was going downstairs to get a coke and ask if either of them wanted one. Then he would turn around and give me something to fax or copy. Um…Hyena? I like coke. Thanks. Jerk.

I know, you probably think i’m being overly sensitive. I thought so two. Until these two incidents happened:

1. It was Lady’s birthday. I thought i’d be proactive and so I sent an email to everyone but Lady saying “it’s Lady’s birthday. Should I go out an get a cake? Do we have a card to sign?” See? I tried. I wanted to be part of the group. I got an email from one of the twins saying “Oh, we actually have cupcakes, I picked them up this morning. We’ll probably do that later this afternoon. Thanks!”. Fair enough, i’m always up for cupcakes. I felt included. Then lunch time rolled around. At this point, the new guy had been working there for just a couple of weeks and I was going on 7 months. 12:30 came and found the entire dept (even Smiley was there) gathered around twin #1’s cubicle, the one right next to mine. What were they doing? Deciding where they were all going to eat lunch for Lady’s birthday. I sat. I waited. I just needed one of them to make eye contact or ask me if I was ready to go. Nothing. I thought, maybe it’s just assumed that I am going? That thought was banished from my silly little head when they started trying to figure out who was going to drive. Someone counted heads 1,2..6 - we should take 2 cars. Et tu, new guy??? yep, that’s right. That nice little number 6 did not include me. Screw them anyway.

2. So that was frustrating, yes, but not anywhere near as insensitive as this next bit. One day, after i’d been at the office for A YEAR, I was on crutches. I had injured my foot and literally could not walk without the crutches. It was a very rainy day. Our office was across the street from a mall that had a food court - UPSTAIRS. Did I mention it was RAINING? Ok. So the gang decides to order lunch in. Good idea, rain outside and all… Nobody asks me if I want to join in on the order. Nobody thought for one second that the girl ON CRUTCHES might not want to go out in the RAIN to get lunch. Insensitive? yes. Hold on, it gets better. After I hear Siamese twin #2 place the order, for everyone BUT me, she walks over to my cubicle and says (probably the first thing she’s said to me all week) “um, we just ordered some food from the Chinese place across the street.” at this point, I took a deep breath. I judged them too soon. She was going to ask me if I wanted to get an order in. Then she spoke again. “Could you go pick it up for us?”. Seriously. Take a second…I did. I looked at her, looked at my crutches and said, “no. I am not gonna be able to do that for you.” Man, I wanted to smack her with the heavy metal part of my crutch.

So, yeah. When i’m cocktail waitressing or bartending at “the joint”, I’m on my feet all night and I leave smelling like smoke. But people talk to me. It could be so much worse. I could be sitting in that cubicle.

ok. I want to hear from y’all. What’s the worst job you have ever had? Did you quit? Tell me your stories. I’ll pick some highlights and post them so no matter how much you hate your current job, you will know (say it with me!) IT COULD BE WORSE!!!

send your stories to humordaily@gmail.com or just post them as comments!!!  SHARE!

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