humordaily

So I’ve been thinking lately that it might be time to join the gym and start working out again. The other day at work, I got confirmation on that.

There’s an older lady named Connie who comes into the bar every afternoon. Connie is one of my favorite patrons. She always makes good conversation and she is definitely a creature of habit. Connie comes in every afternoon, sits in the same spot and pulls out her scratch-off lottery tickets. She never has to tell me what she’s having, I already have it ready for her when I see her walk in. Miller Light, a tall glass, and a short glass of ice (she pours a bit of ice into the tall glass, and then pours some of her Miller Light. She repeats as often as necessary. She usually has 3 Miller Lights, and almost always gives me $2 to play some music for her on the jukebox. She likes it mellow. Ray Charles, Gladys Knight, Marvin Gaye, Aretha…you get the picture. The first song is always her favorite though - Macy Gray’s “I Try”. Did I mention Connie is a white lady?

Back to the point of the story. The other day I was reaching up to get a glass from the rack hanging above my head. Connie called me over and told me “If I were you, I wouldn’t raise my arms so high. Your shirt goes up and I can see your stomach hanging over your pants.”

wow.

It’s like the last time I was home and my mom told me I needed to do some “ab work”. I didn’t even realize “ab work” was part of her vocabulary.

I guess it’s time to take Raquel to the gym.

by the way…i’m 5′2″ and weigh about 110 lbs. That’s Hollywood for ya!

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